oh vandy

If I could get a tatoo, I would get a red one (fading into a black outline) on the right side of my chest so that if I were to wear a tank top, it would be showing its head. I would get a tatoo of the chinese character, “mei” as in meiguo or meili. That is, for beauty. Why? because it’s a beautiful character, because life is beautiful, and because I should always remind myself it’s all about how I think about the world and perceive myself that will end up making the difference.

Here I am composing an entry when I should be composing an ethics paper. On suicide. Good lord, what am I doing…

Omfg. I hate school.

My laptop died today. I mean literally died. My powercord thingy is flashing an ominous yellow color, which indicates a hardware problem. A hardware problem. Oh god, it’s dead. My life is my computer. I kid you not.

This is definately not a good week for my laptop to just suddenly die because I have two papers due this week. Well, one on Friday and the other on Monday, but they’re long and important. I really hope it’s not my hard drive that’s damaged. Oh geez oh geez…..

And Toshiba’s website says that I can get it repaired at (practically) any UPS store. Why do I get the feeling that they’re wrong?

Did you know that they can’t show the Patriots/Chiefs game (which is going to be a good game) because the Titans are playing this afternoon (they’re 2-8 btw). They’re playing the San Fran 49ers (who’re also 2-8 btw). That is going to be one good game, don’t you think? Two awful teams playing each other? Oh yeah. So they’ll show THIS game instead of the Patriots.

And you know what? Apparently, it’s all apart of NFL regulations! wtf

I’m upset that John Williams didn’t compose the music for HP4. For me, it was actually quite noticable that the music just wasn’t up to par. I think it was the music that brought Harry Potter together from the beginning, just like it did for Star Wars. They changed the theme (or at least it was a variation on the theme. I’m not a theory person and I’m practically tone death, but the opening music is definately different) for HP4 which is good because Harry’s growing up, but there’s no cohesiveness to the music in the movie anymore. I think, for me, that’s my biggest complaint about the movie. Changing a few details to suit the movie, that’s fine wth me; leaving out chapters of the book, that’s fine me too (I mean after all, how you gonna fit 400 pages of jam packed story line in a 2.5 hour movie unless you cut stuff out? I don’t think any of us want a repeat of the first two movies where the tone / mood of HP was lost while it retained the details), but the music! The music! *sigh* I think it’s because I just really like John Williams, hehe.

Some John Williams movies you might not have known (and one that I REALLY want to see now):
Home Alone (I &II)
Jurassic Park & Lost World
Schindler’s List
Saving Private Ryan
Seven Years in Tibet
Amistad
The Patriot
AI
HP (I & II & III BUT NOT IV GEEZ)
Catch me if you can
The Terminal
War of the Worlds
Memoirs of a Geisha

(hmm, gee, do you think he likes Steven Spielberg or no?)

I bought a CD the other day for the first time in years. I don’t think I would have if Vandy hand’t blocked out access to every download manager ever conceived (including Limewire, so I’m screwed, oh but minus bittorrent). I ordered Rent’s (the movie’s) soundtrack. Oh it’s soooo good. Omg why is it SO good…. (I’m buying the DVD when it comes out, good lord)

It was spectacuarly wonderful to be at home. Or just away from school. I’m not sure yet which way I should phrase it, but anyway, the break was fantastic. Apparently, it snowed sometime the day before Thanksgiving, but I totally missed that whole bit.

So I baked my cheesecake and apple pie, but somehow, baking for the family just isn’t as satisfying as making something for myself. I knew the cheesecake was not only lacking in flavor, but the texture and consistency just wasn’t right. I also knew that I didn’t really bake the apple pie, but aunt made the filling while I made the dough. Yet the parentals (of course) said it was fantastic and great and that I should bake more for Christmas. And while I was baking with my aunt, she kept on saying, “That’s perfect!” but I wasn’t doing anything that could remotely be categorized as “perfect” (I mean seriously, how do you pour perfectly?). That kind of blind praise hurts a lot more than if they had just told me the truth, that the stuff was okay but not really all that great. It’s like if I made anything at all, it’d be good. But of course that’s not true and how am I supposed to get better if all that they tell me is how good it is? It kind of makes me embarassed that they would praise something so bad; it’s kind of like they don’t have any standards and that in the end, their praise really doesn’t mean anything.

On a completely different topic, I’ve found that my relationship with my cousin is nothing at all like my relationship with any of my friends. I’m not sure how to describe it, but it’s the most wonderful kind of friendship there is. I wonder sometimes if this is what having a brother or sibling is like or if our friendship is entirely unique relationship altogether. I feel like he knows me without me having to explain anything at all and all of a sudden, I feel so comfortable around him. I guess that’s what happens when you spend a lifetime of holidays with somebody. It makes me so excited when I start thinking about how he’s graduating, going out and finding a job, and how we’re going to be independent really soon. How, in a few years, maybe we’ll be hosting the Thanksgiving dinners, maybe we’ll be the “adults” and our parents will just be “the old people” (as opposed to us being the children right now). Oh Lily, you’re so easily amused.

Oh damn, I’ve finally reached that point in the semester where I just can’t seem to sit down and study for more than 5 minutes. Call it “burnt out” or whatever you want, but there ain’t nothing that’s gonna make me crack down I think. I don’t seem to have the motivation to complete the semester. This always always happens to me. It’s probably the reason why if I’m getting an A before this time of year, I’ll end up with an A (b/c even if I slack off, it’s not enough to pull me all the way down) but if I don’t have an A by now…..forget it, it’s not happening. This is also probably why my spring semesters are always worse than my fall semesters — by a lot. Always. Where the hell do I find the drive to finish the semester? Or to get through this physics test?

I’ve basically been working my ass off since….beginning of July. That’s not cool, but it’s also my own fault. Good one Lily, way to be smart, way to plan ahead. I’m never doing that again. I’m going to treasure my summer vacations and take time off before fall semester.

On a completely separate note, the Patriots are playing the Saints this weekend and I’m watching it on our 49″ TV with Bose surround sound (as opposed to a dinky 20″ with um, regular stereo?). They better crush them or else I’ll be sorely disappointed. Maybe Kevin’ll get to teach me and Zhou the rules of football. Those would have been nice to know before I became a big fan, but it ain’t too late!

I’ve decided to make pumpkin pie from scratch for our Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, I’m gonna probalby fail miserably, but I’m going to try. That’s what I did last night instead of studying for physics, I looked up recipies for pumpkin pie (found a couple good ones too!).