oh vandy

I really shouldn’t miss anything about China, really. I don’t miss the stench of line-dried clothes, the stretching of my clothes, the disgusting toilets where you could only use 1 sheet of toilet paper (or 2 for #2), the sticky heat of summer, the blank stares of “what? you’re not chinese?” or the crazy slow internet access, but the things I miss…I miss soo much because America just doesn’t compensate for it all.

I miss the great cheap eats like dumplings for less than a buck, the air conditioned bus rides for 2 yuan (they made me feel so chinese), walking by xihu after dinner, walking by xihu at night, walking by xihu period really, the western-styled cafes (so classy + romantic + comfortable + great), the service at any restaurant (even fast food joints), the malls, wulinlu (in hangzhou), the cheap taxis (altho i don’t miss those nasty drivers), the bars, the western-style supermarkets, the convienent little fruit markets, the little shops that sell popsicles, oh the list continues.

I guess I just miss what I don’t have. When I was in China, 90% of the time, I hated the experience. But I think I had gotten to the point where some material things just didn’t mean so much to me anymore because, well, they didn’t mean so much to other people. I think I also miss what China did to me, I really think it made me into a better person somehow. The fact that I finally got over the whole toilet paper thing really says something about me; namely that “Lily was a spoiled little girl before and now, she’s somewhat less spoiled.” I certainly still enjoy the amenities that come standard with living in the dorms at a pristine private university, but well….I would give it all up to go back. I really would.

That is, if I weren’t premed.

At nights, I have trouble falling asleep. In the morning, I inevitably wake up before 9am. I think the waking up bit is the result of me setting my biological clock earlier this semester (although I’m not really sure why it hasn’t been “reset” yet because I’ve been attempting to wake up later for a few weeks at least now). I think the falling asleep trouble is because I get anxious during those last few waking moments before I drift off. Anxious about life. School, mcats, friends, you name it, I’m worried about it. But then I realize I’m just being silly worrying about these things that aren’t in my control and I can finally relax. This would be all good and dandy except that this process takes 30 - 60 minutes to complete damnit.

23 days until Thanksgiving Break.

I need a hobby (other than eating).

So ever since I’ve been getting my hair chemically straightened, I’ve been really lax about my shampoo / conditioner because you know…my hair is chemically straighted!! There’s nothing I can do to it about it! But oh no no, boy was I wrong. After a weekend of frying my hair with not just a straightening iron but also my little frays into the world of a curling iron, I decided it was time to try some deep conditioner.

Holy crap. My hair. feels. amazing. I’m not just saying this to be like, “omg, everybody Lily has AMAZING hair” because I mean, there’s a reason why I’ve been getting it straightened and stuff, but I really don’t think my hair’s ever felt this good. Ever.

It’s John Freida, by the way…for those of you who want to try…I think any deep conditioner would work. You’re only supposed to use it once a week or something infrequent like that, but I’m sooo tempted to just use it every time.

Sometimes (for example, right now this very moment) I get baffled at the wonders of the real world. Not The Real World: Austin (which is baffling in its own right) and not “the real world” of grownups and jobs and paychecks and children, but the real world as in the economy, the political world, the grassroots social movements, all those factors that undoubtedly are influencing my future world. I wish I knew what was actually going on out there.

Not just “going on,” that doesn’t describe the depth of what’s out there. I wish I understood what it all meant and could carry on a decent indepth conversation with somebody about the Miers nomination other than, “oh I heard she’s never even had experience as a judge, how awful.” Or talk about the importance of Alan Greenspan and how Bernanke’s going to do his job and its effects on me, the average citizen. Or you know what, I wish I knew what the Asian Financial Crisis of 2000 (was it 2000?) was or how we’ve have good growth with few recessions in the past couple decades. What does that all mean?

I get really frustrated stuck in the Vandy bubble because it’s not only a social bubble, it’s a bubble in every single right. Zhou remarked how nice it was to be amongst “normal people” when we were at Carabbas’s that night and how nice it was to see that not everybody you saw was drop dead gorgeous. But more than that, I feel like all I ever see on campus is work, friends and more work. Every time I get off campus (for reasons other than hanging out with friends) it’s like a culture shock. It’s amazing how much stuff that’s just unavailable to us here.

I think I’ll always feel a little out of the loop on this stuff because I’ve never taken an economics or polisci class in my life. I should get on top of that, but there’s just so many other subjects out there that I have prioritized above them. I can see myself 50 years from now, frustrated with life because there’s so much to absorb and never enough time to learn it all.

Therefore, my new resolution: to watch the 5:30 evening news every day.

Yesterday and Friday were the most relaxing wonderful days of fall semester thus far. I think it had something to do with hogging restaurant time. Like at Pancake Pantry, we spent 2 hours there and then at Carrabas’s (sp?) we were there for 3 hours. Insanity, but when you think about it, if you spent upwards of $30 on a meal and an hour waiting in line, you should take your time and enjoy the food / atmosphere. I used to always get in and get out of restaurants, but I now I see the beauty of sipping your coffee for a couple hours after dinner.

Fall is also now officially here. There was one beautiful day this week when all the leaves just fell out of the trees and lined our sidewalks with shades of orange and red. I hope fall doesn’t leave anytime soon, it makes me happy.

Can you believe more than half of the semester is gone? Vanished? Done? That spring registration starts in less than 14 days? Why am I always faced with this disbelief of how fast time passes? It’s certainly something I should have already grown accustomed to and it’s something I remind myself of constantly, but it slips away without you even batting an eye damnit. The waiter at Carrabas’s last night asked us what wine we would be having with our dinner. 3/4 of us were 20 and 1/4 was 21. It was such an exhilarating feeling, kind of, to be thought of as adults.