New York, New York
So I’m officially done with my time here in New York and I realized that I haven’t written anything anywhere about my summer here. No pictures, no writings, nothing except memories. Wonderful memories, even the bad ones.
Impressions of New York
1. I hate when guys say lude things to you (including, “hey gorgeous” or “you’re beautiful” etc) even when they’re not lude, per say (sp?). They’re lude because I believe any decent, educated man would never ever “holla” at a girl in the middle of the road. At least all the men that I respect, know, and would date don’t. For me, it’s more of an insult if they do comment because clearly the guys who do say these things are lude themselves and therefore, it’s almost kind of slutty of a girl to get comments. Like, what kind of girl do you need to be to get such attention? Wear short skirts? Expose your breasts? There’s no standard and I just feel downgraded when I hear these things.
2. It’s beautiful. The endless array of tall buildings, the structured nature of the city’s streets, the neon lights in Times Square, something about it all is very aesthetically pleasing to me, somehow. Sometimes, I like to just walk the streets of New York. Just see all those little shops, all these differently dressed people, all the eclecticism is so unique, I just walk in awe.
3. You can wear whatever the damn you want to wear and I love it. Even if it looks shitty, there’s always somebody else on the street that probably looks just as shitty or worse. Even if it’s so dressed up, you’d wear it to a wedding, there’s always soembody else on the street dressed just as nicely or better. If makes me feel confident when I can get dressed in the morning and feel good about what I wear, instead of feeling self conscious that I might be too dressy for the occassion.
4. The partying starts late and ends later. Going out at 1pm? In any other city, it’d be close to time to go home, but in New York, it’s still prime time pre-gaming. 6am time to be passed out? Hell no, in New York, it’s time to go to K-town or elsewhere to get drunken food. Maybe it was just me and the kids I hung out with, but just having the option of going pretty much anywhere you want at any time you want is fabulous.
5. There’s no “alone time,” especially if you have a roommate. There’s no place to go when all you want to do is sit in your own room and cry, or be by yourself, or pig out with a gallon of ice cream. No bathroom is ever completely empty, no streets are safe enough to stroll along alone at 1am, and sometimes, it feels as if I would trade my life just to have a corner of space and time to myself.
Am I a different person?
I feel as if I were kind of a different person here in New York. Not completely different (eg: my values, the way I think, and other fundamental qualities of myself), but I feel different. Like I can do more, like I have more options, like I am more alive for some reason. Maybe it’s because the people I hung out with let me set my inhibitions loose. Maybe it’s because I met so many new people that I was never type-set into a category and could express myself however I wished. Maybe it’s because I wanted something completely different here. I’m not sure, but either way, it’s been fabulous.
Conclusions?
In another world and another time, I think I could have been a banker. Maybe not a banker (not quite smart enough, I believe, personally), but something more corporate in any case, something not a doctor. I can see myself living in the city and loving it. Sometimes I think I would like to do that for a year or two and just be a struggling young person without a set career path, but yet not without ambitions. This summer has been full of situational “what if’s” but at the end of the day, that’s not the world I live in.
I live in a place where my med school apps need to be handed in asap and where I need to finish my essay asap. A place where beautiful sundresses and pumps (but not together) are not every day wear and a place where (thankfully) I can walk the streets without getting attention from any male person. A safe place where my life has been planned out for me and all I need to do is connect the dots. A world where I always thought my life would be perfect. Now I wonder though, what would have happened if I had given myself more options?
July 30th, 2006 at 4:34 am
I have only one thing to say to you:
It’s spelled “lewd!” L-E-W-D! Or am I mistaken and you actually mean to say you hate guys who are a “pill or tablet containing methaquanone?” And while I’m at it, “(sp)” is right, it’s “per se.”
But on topic, I think you should try not to feel downgraded by those comments, because the kind of girl you need to be to get that kind of attention is…a girl. It’s like you say, there’s no real standard. It’s not like you have to dress slutty, you just gotta dress like a girl. You don’t even need to be a girl really, just a very convincing transvestite.
Maybe, MAY-BE, you should even take them as compliments at face-value, because “lewd” guys (and I put “lewd” in quotes because all guys are lewd and you’re really talking about a subset who are “overexpressive”) are at the moment thinking about getting into your panties, and they’re thinking about getting into your panties because they think you’re good-looking enough to be worthy of getting into the panties of. Right? Eh? Get it? Yeah? All right, forget it, just don’t equate some random asshole hollering “you’re gorgeous” at you to be the same as “you’re a whore.”
August 1st, 2006 at 8:37 am
The illusion of choice leads many to feel that their perfectly fine condition is currently inadequate and … maybe something could have been better. Thus one must ALWAYS remember, decisions are meant to be analyzed THEN made, never the other way around.
August 2nd, 2006 at 5:11 am
Hey Lily, I kinda fell off of the xanga wagon for a while but I’m still getting these xanga update emails and I thought I’d read what you wrote about New York New York. I actually take these “You’re gorgeous”, “Hey sexy”…or my personal favorite “JLo no no, you number ONE” as compliments. I think that’s actually the best way to take it, yes they are sometimes annoying and usually coming from people who don’t-smell-or-look-so-nice but hey what the heck, who does it hurt? You’ve just been told you’re gorgeous!!! Who cares where it came from! (In fact, I think girls need to be told they are pretty more often!) Be happy, smile back (unless Mr. Sketchy has the intention of followign you), it’ll make everyone’s day. Oh also I’ve heard girls being beat up before b/c they snubbed at these people…New York is a great place to live, I’m so glad you enjoyed your summer, maybe you can come for med school? Best of luck with everything! Oh btw, you DEFINITELY picked the right career move…all my ‘banker’ ‘financial analyst’ ‘marketing’ friends…are hating their jobs in NYC.
September 10th, 2006 at 8:32 am
“3. You can wear whatever the damn you want to wear and I love it.”
That is soo the opposite of what tokyo is like. You have to have your A-game when you go out in that city.