oh vandy

So basically, this was a pretty depressing / sad / bad / don’t want to remember kind of year. Well, okay so it wasn’t terrible, but I mean, this is really as bad as it gets.

Some highlights because the year wasn’t the i-wish-i-could-do-that-all-over-again kind of year:

- Heritage Month. It was really spectacular. I learned so much through preparing and running the programs I planned. I’m very grateful for the opportunity that my peers and Vanderbilt gave me to be a student leader. AASA’s like my little baby. Next year’s gonna be even better though, so be prepared people!
- Turning 21. Definately a major highlight. Getting that expensive / awesome / I-use-it-every-day-bag (whose brand name I STILL do not know…though I totally should know) from my friends. Getting all those facebook messages and a couple of awesome presents from overseas. It was more than I ever thought a 21st birthday could be.
- Developing new friends / strengthening old ones. I feel like I’ve gotten much closer to some people this year and I thank them for their support through all my rough moments. I also feel like I’ve branched out more this year, compared to last year (well I guess anything would be “branching out” compared to last year haha), so I’ve made new friendships too. I know next year’s gonna be great when we’re all going to be able to live together.

But with all that said, I don’t really look back on junior year with a smile. I look at it with this huge, black, loooooming cloud named MCAT. It also doesn’t help that I have been working my ass off pretty consistently since July (summer in Nanjing -> direct to Nashville). I feel so tired. Physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally tired, everything tired; I just feel so drained of life. I just want to sit on the cough and be a vegetable. I can’t imagine unpacking my stuff when I get home. It all seems like so much work. I’m so relieved I’m finally leaving Morgan. The place is like a little prison to me, somehow. Maybe because as the year wore on, it grew to be a lonely place, only sprinkled sometimes with the excitment of a roommate home.

That’s it for me and reflecting on this past year. It’s over and there’s nothing I can do about it now. This summer and next year are going to be infinately better; it’s going to be like my “year off.” Although it’s not going to be easy by any means, I’m only taking 1 science course the entire year and I’m taking an interdisciplinary mix of courses that I’m very very excited about. I feel like I can smell the suma cume lade (sp?) graduation honor from here. I’m also excited about our Towers suite and all the fun we’re going to have as college girls. I can finally act like any typical Vandy senior / student and not be bogged down with the whole premed thing (well, “not bogged down” relatively speaking) and finally go out and party and make out with random hot guys.

I’m such a future-looking gal, it’s terrible. I’ll always imagine the future as this bright place that I’m working towards but it’s so hard for me to be happy in the present or thinking about the past. It’s like I’m always chasing after the elusive perfect future that I’ll never fully appreciate when I “get” there. Oh well, for now, sitting my ass down and doing nothing sounds like heaven to me.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006 at 1:27 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.